Anxiety Medicine + Scary Side Effects = Fail

So last week I went to the doctor because I was having some issues with not feeling great in the mornings and getting lightheaded in the subways. I thought maybe I would learn that I needed to drink more water or have more sugar in the mornings. Instead, I was told that it may be caused by my anxiety issues. First off, I didn’t even bring up the fact that I have anxiety, she just guessed it and it was a new doctor I was seeing so she didn’t have any of my medical records. Am I that easy to read?

For the first time, I was prescribed an anti-anxiety medication and given names of therapists to see that may help me overcome my anxiety. I am actually very interested in going to see a therapist and once the holiday season has wrapped up I intend to make an appointment. I’m curious to see what they can uncover about me and why I think the way I do. The pills however I am a little skeptical about. I’m not sure how they work and I don’t know if I’m not going to like the way they feel. The doctor told me to give them a chance and if I don’t like them to stop taking them. I’m supposed to see her again in a month to let her know how therapy and the medication has helped. After debating the issue, I finally took my first pill yesterday. So far I feel no different but online it says it takes a few days to kick in.

However, let me just tell you all about the side effects that these little death capsules could have in store for me. (this of course has caused me more worry in my life) The first thing it says is “You may have thoughts about suicide when you first start taking this medication, especially if you are younger than 24 years old.” Well terrific! I’m not sure exactly how this works but I wonder if I will just decide one of these days when I wake up that my window looks good to jump out of today or my hair dryer looks better plugged in near the bathtub? Or perhaps it will feel something like when I burn my toast in the morning it will cause life to seem so unbearable for me that I would rather kill myself. However it is that this feeling may decide to creep up me from my medication, I told my boyfriend to not allow me on our terrace or around sharp knives.

Continuing on with this list of horrors, here are the common side effects and my quick thoughts on them:

  • Anxiety & Nervousness (well we’re right where we started)
  • Constipation (gross)
  • Diarrhea (gross)
  • Dizziness (great)
  • Drowsiness (great)
  • Nausea (not cool)
  • Stomach upset (not cool)
  • Trouble sleeping (so I’m either going to be tired or not tired at all?)
  • Weight loss (…actually this ones not so bad)

If the common side effects weren’t bad enough, all hell breaks loose during the severe side effects section:

  • Bizarre behavior (hmm, like what I wonder? Will I start to wear banana peels on my head and eat dirt?)
  • Chest pain (great)
  • Confusion (great)
  • Decreased bladder control (better start getting diapers)
  • Decreased concentration (ADD here I come!)
  • Decreased coordination (Let me drive your car 🙂 )
  • Fainting (always fun and also what I originally was having issues with when I sought a Doctor)
  • Fever (always fun)
  • Hallucinations (actually that may be interesting)
  • Memory loss (50 First Dates)
  • Aggressiveness (gorilla warfare if you touch my snacks!!)
  • Impulsiveness (nothing new there, I’d still by an Alpaca if I could)
  • Exaggerated feeling of well-being (so even if I feel really good that’s just a side effect? Aw man)
  • Inability to sit still (kind of feel like that right now…uh oh)
  • Persistent, painful erection (oh no, I’m going to have to keep my eye out for this!)
  • Seizures (great)
  • Unusual weakness (I shall use this excuse when I lose at things from now on)

Believe it or not, these are not all the side effects, just the one’s I chose to write about. There are many many more. Wouldn’t be surprised if one was just plain death, but I guess if you succeed in your suicide attempts that were brought on by the medicine then that could be an accurate side effect to label.

So if you can get over your anxiety enough to not think that every one of these side effects is going to happen to you, then try an anti-anxiety medication if your doctor prescribes it. I will have to let you guys know if I feel any different after a week or so. I kind of feel like a crazy person having to take an anti-anxiety medicine but I mean if it helps then why not?


MTA = Many Traumatic Adventures

Being a New York City resident for the past three years now, I think I have gathered enough information to determine that the MTA is a main source of most of my anxiety. I’m sure this is the same for most other New Yorkers as well. This is the reason why I am moving close to my job once my lease is up so I will never have to take the MTA on a daily basis again. It’s come to the point where I would pay extra money for my rent then pay less and take the MTA every day. Here are a few of the many, many examples of why the MTA is a huge anxiety to me.

1. I just have to say that this is what started me on ranting about the MTA. The MTA FORGOT about passengers stranded on an A train in last year’s blizzard. Recently, the President of New York City Transit was quoted in saying, “We forgot about that train.” They forgot about a train filled with passengers in a blizzard…yeah, no, I totally trust the MTA. Because of this incident, if passengers have been stranded for an hour or two, the MTA is attempting to appoint advocates that will act on the stranded passengers behalf and find ways to rescue them. I love how they are just doing this now. You non-New Yorker’s don’t understand what can happen to people who are stuck on a subway for even an hour or two let alone SEVEN HOURS which is what happened to those poor people last winter. Just to clarify the situation of being stuck on a NYC subway, here’s a few tweets that were sent out from a passenger that was in the stuck subway last winter. “Son!!! I wanna go home!!! Dudes on the train talking about cannibalism lol I want out!!!” And then: “6 o clock we gonna be live on abc news… But that don’t mean nothing!!! I’m hungry.” But amidst the despair, a note of triumph: “I’m lucky I’m a dude. I’ll just whip it out n pee out the last car. Lol.” (@OMJohnnyG) Some of the 500 riders stuck in the train overnight in Queens during the blizzard were forced to urinate between cars and huddle together to keep warm during the 7-hour ordeal. One passenger even vomited. Yeah, I definitely shouldn’t worry about being stuck on a subway car for a long period of time, it seems pretty comfortable.

2. “The MTA’s new executive director, discussed the organization’s nearly $10 billion budget gap at his first board meeting Wednesday and spoke out on necessary fare hikes.” Fare hike? Awesome! When I started college and moved to the city, the fare had just gone up for subways and it was at $89 for an unlimited monthly subway pass or $2.00 per ride. Since then, there has been a fare hike that brought the cost to $104 for an unlimited monthly subway pass or $2.25 per ride. Now they are saying they will raise fare by 2013? No, I’m done with paying for the MTA to screw me over on a daily basis. I am moving to where I work and paying a little more to do so just so I don’t have to spend ridiculous amounts of money on services that only work half the time. Soon it’ll get to a point where people won’t even  be able to afford public transportation anyway. I mean I’m getting to that point soon.

3. On a personal note, they combined two buses near my apartment into one. I used to have no issues going to work in the morning because it would always come pick me up and drop me off at the subway stop to continue with my commute. However, now that they combined two buses, they are usually so packed with people that they can’t pick up anyone from the last 4 or 5 stops on the route. Thus, I have to walk (not a short distance) to the subway every morning. In the rain, cold, heat, everything. Even better is when I get to the subway, there are usually delays which make the stop super packed with people to where I can’t even get on the first few trains that do come by. Either a plague needs to break out that will take down our population count or MTA needs to figure out how to make people’s commutes A LOT better.

4. Their Twitter and Website are just lists of what’s going wrong with which lines. I get notifications on my phone if there is an issue with either of the 2 trains or 1 bus that I can take to and from work, and it goes off EVERY SINGLE DAY. There hasn’t been one day where I haven’t gotten a notification. And those are just the lines I use, I’m not even including all of the NYC lines combined. I know it’s hard to run a big operation like MTA, I know that. But I feel like the subways and buses I use are always having problems!!

This is exactly why I’m moving back to Manhattan within walking distance from work. This way I can wake up and say to myself, hey! I know that it will take me exactly 10 minutes to walk to work today! I should leave early and grab something nice for breakfast! Not thinking, great I get to wake up an hour earlier to get to work even though the trip says its only supposed to take 20 minutes. Oh? I get to be late because the bus will pass by me and the subways will be delayed? OH? I’m going to be packed to close to strangers in a hot box that’s moving super slow under the streets of New York? OH? SORRY FOR THE INCONVIENCE SUBWAY MACHINE RECORDING?? I think every time I make an MTA transit commute I lose 1 day of my life due to stress.

The Holiday Gift Guide For Your Paranoid Friend

Just in time for the holiday shopping season, here is a list of holiday gifts to give to that special paranoid or anxiety driven someone in your life:

(Click the photos to buy)

1. The Twelve South BookBook Case for Laptops, iPhones and iPads

If your special someone is anything like me, they will constantly be afraid of having their stuff stolen. Every morning before I go to work, I make sure to hide my laptop somewhere in my room “logically assuming” that a possible robber won’t look hard enough to find it. Not anymore with the Twelve South BookBook case. You can now hide your laptop, iPhone or iPad by disguising it as an old boring leather-bound book.

2. The Baker’s Edge Nonstick Edge Brownie Pan

Does your special someone have a sweet tooth but is too stressed about not getting the awesome corner brownies? Fear not! Now everyone can have corner brownies with the Baker’s Edge Nonstick Edge Brownie Pan!!

3. The Spy Bolt Covert Hidden Contents Secret Container

Perhaps your special someone has some diamonds laying around their house that they fear will be lost or stolen. Or maybe your special someone is more normal and has some rolled up cash that they need to put somewhere for safe keeping. The Spy Bolt is perfect for hiding small items in plain sight!

4. Anti-Theft Lunch Bags

Does your special someone feel uncomfortable with leaving their precious lunches in the company refrigerator for fear that someone may steal it? No more worrying with these anti-theft bags that make it seem as if your sandwich is moldy and disgusting when really it is fresh and delicious. The only worry they will have now is if one of your coworkers actually decides to clean out the fridge. Haha, yeah right!

5. The Plug Mug

Another gift for your office working special someone, the plug mug! Is your special someone convinced that her gross coworker with the constant herpes outbreaks keeps stealing their mug to use, then this is the perfect gift. The plug is detachable and can be kept with you while your not using the mug so if anyone else tries to use it they will have a horrible mess to clean up.

6. Mustache on a Stick

Perhaps your special someone has social anxiety and hates to go out to the store in fear of seeing someone she knows. With Mustache on a Stick they can quickly and easily disguise themselves as someone else! No one will have any idea who you are anymore when you put mustache on a stick up to your nose. Expect to hear a lot of, “Sorry I thought you were someone else.” Mustache on a Stick comes in three exciting colors: Black, Grey, and Brown!

7. Suitjamas

Is your special someone so nervous about looking like a hobo when going to sleep for fear of seeing someone they know or someone really good looking in the middle of the night? Well they can put those worries to sleep (pun) when you get them Suitjamas! Now you can sleep comfortably and still look sexy. Like Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother says, “it’s about looking good ALL the time.”

8. The Ultimate Swiss Army Knife

Does your special someone fear they will be in a situation where they will need something but won’t have it? Do they have anxiety when flying or sailing because they are afraid of crashing on some deserted island with only one item on them? Well now they can rest easy knowing that they will be deserted with this little baby. The Ultimate Swiss Army Knife has 85 tools combined into it. Become the ruler of the island and have other survivors bow down to you with this little tool.

9. Medieval Warrior Umbrella Sword Cane

Does your special someone ever feel scared when walking home in the rain in the night by themselves? Then this is the perfect gift for them. When lingering criminals see the handle to this umbrella, they’ll know you are not to be messed with. However, if a real Medieval Warrior see’s this and challenges you to a fight to the death, I’d run. “Don’t make me think I won’t cut you” will be your new catch phrase!

10. Vampire Killing Kit

Does your special someone wear garlic on them at all times, get scared watching the Twilight movies and took a wood carving class just to learn how to carve a cross into a stake? Then this Vampire Killing Kit is the perfect holiday gift. No longer will they have to fear the undead! They can become a modern day Van Helsing and rise above the Vampires!

Be sure to show that special paranoid or anxiety driven someone in your life just how much you care about them even with their crazy “mental condition”.

Happy Holidays! 🙂