After Google-diagnosing myself, I’ve come to the very real conclusion that I have a type of Anxiety Disorder referred to as Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) as well as a slight case of Panic Disorder. As defined by the Anxiety Disorders Association of America (ADAA), “Generalized Anxiety Disorder is characterized by persistent, excessive, and unrealistic worry about everyday things. People with the disorder experience exaggerated worry and tension, often expecting the worst, even when there is no apparent reason for concern. They anticipate disaster and are overly concerned about money, health, family, work, or other issues. They don’t know how to stop the worry cycle and feel it is beyond their control, even though they usually realize that their anxiety is more intense than the situation warrants. GAD affects 6.8 million adults, or 3.1% of the U.S. population, in any given year. Women are twice as likely to be affected.” Panic Disorder on the other hand is just a fancy word used to describe Panic/Anxiety Attacks which I don’t get often but have had.
I have always had this sort of lingering anxiety in my mind but only recently has it become a little out of control at times. I’ve never brought it up to a doctor before for fear of them having to run tests on me or prescribing me “zombie medication”. (Yes, you will be able to see/find my posts laced with worry) Of course I entertained the idea of resorting to prescription medication but why would I want to dull down my ridiculous imagination? “Normal” people riding the subway when it stops between stations may simply get aggravated and wait for it to move again. My brain on the other hand immediately concocts an elaborate action movie scenario where the train is being hijacked by terrorists and I must survive. In my mind this is a total possibility to me by the way, joking aside.
With all of this medical mumbo jumbo it’s easy for some to think that I believe I have some sort of debilitating mental condition that is ruining my life. In reality, I don’t always mind it. Yes it gets annoying when my brain goes into “threat level midnight” mode over the smallest thoughts, especially when I know that I’m being ridiculous, but it makes me who I am in some weird way. I have been thinking of going to therapy though and feel that it may actually give me some interesting posts to write on here about how people try to deal with treating Anxiety Disorders. I’ve read that many people who feel that they have anxiety are too afraid to seek help for it because they are ashamed or believe people will think they are a hypochondriac. I on the other hand don’t feel ashamed in telling someone that I’m a tad bit crazy because honestly everyone that I’ve found to be interesting in this world was at least a little insane.
“I guess the line between being paranoid and being a rock star is smaller than one would expect.” – Brian Molko